There are two little boys who make a ruckus at our small group Bible study on Wednesday mornings. One of them is mine, and so I don't always hear every word shared from my girl friends. But yesterday morning, one thing I heard has stuck in my heart like a burr. My friend said something along the lines of "I've had to make the choice to see motherhood as my calling and not my duty."
When she said this, a lightbulb went off in my head, and my heart lightened a little bit. The good majority of the "discussions" that Chris and I have had lately revolve around my struggle with the fact that I "never" get a break, and the fact that we both feel under-appreciated. You see, I know that being a mom (and a wife) are both roles that God's graciously given me, and I do honestly feel privileged to hold them. But up until this week, I've been allowing myself to view my day-to-day role as a duty and not a calling.
A duty suggests that I have to take it on my shoulders alone, while God walks alongside me in my calling.
A duty can be a heavy responsibility, while a calling allows for grace, truth, and plenty of mess-ups.
To me, a duty says, "give me credit!" , while a calling says, "Thank you Lord!"
Silas is at a really fun age right now, soaking up words and concepts like a sponge. His personality is awesome and he is constantly singing, dancing and pretending. We had a dance party this morning to "The Bear Necessities", and you should have seen the kid's moves! These are the fun parts, and then there are the heavy parts-- the tantrums, the early mornings, the whining and the "I never get a break" parts. And those parts have been weighing me down so much, that by the end of the day, I forget all those fun and beautiful parts of our day together. Seeing my role as mom and wife as a calling that God has placed on my life doesn't mean that it's going to be easier, but it's a new perspective that allows me to accept the rich grace that comes along with the role. It allows me to see that He placed me in these roles with Purpose, not that they landed in my lap and I'm stuck here.
Tomorrow, I'm going to bring back my Little Things series. I won't be doing a link-up, because I post far too infrequently lately to commit to that, but I'd love for you to join along in the series. I started it several years ago during one of Chris' first deployments with the Navy and the goal was for me to see the beauty and the grace that God pours on my days, even in the midst of a tough season or day. Every time I start it up again, I spend those weeks seeing His hands on each little moment. So, I'm excited to bring it back!
Off to enjoy a quiet lunch while the boy naps, and fingers crossed he'll sleep long enough for me to sneak up to the studio for a bit too!
PS. That's him at 5 months in the picture above. Love that bald little noggin!